Experimenting in the bedroom can be a wonderful thing. It can improve relationships and bring the sparks back to any marriage.
However, there is such a thing as going too far, and this is a problem. Everyone has a line that can’t be crossed, and this is something you need to talk about up front.
Before you even broach the subject with your spouse make sure that you have fully thought through what you want to do. Realize there will be consequences, and you need to figure out if you can live with those consequences after the fact. Everyone is different and something that isn’t an issue for you may be a huge issue for your partner. If you think your husband has been checking out your best friend, it may not be wise to introduce her to the bedroom in the event that he takes that as an OK from you to be with her even when you aren’t around. What if you add a sex toy, and instead of turning on your partner, he is repulsed. These are things that you need to know before you actually put your plans in motion.
You need to be mindful of your partner’s feelings. The first thing that might cross your partner’s mind is that what he or she is doing isn’t satisfying you. Once one partner starts to think this way, they begin to over–analyze, and even possibly think that an affair is happening or is about to happen. Your partner might thing that the person he or she is having an affair with is the one who started this behavior.
You also have to think about how your partner is going to perceive you. If you want to add a third person to the bedroom, your spouse may be highly offended and then think you are a sex maniac or even worse, are more attracted to someone else. You need to analyze your situation. Is this to help your relationship or just your sex life. You should be able to figure out what would be appropriate for your specific goals.
If you go too far or don’t listen to your partner’s needs, you may find your sex life completely cut off. You may do something that your partner really can not stand, and they may not feel comfortable talking about it with you, and instead, just cut you off from sex altogether. If you notice your partner is not comfortable with what you are doing or not enjoying it, drop it immediately or you may end up causing more harm than good.
If you push the limits too far, it isn’t just about losing your sex life, it is about losing your partner completely. You should know your partner well enough to know what would be pushing the limits. Asking someone to get on top is completely different than asking someone to pretend they are an old girlfriend from high school. That will make your partner think that you are always thinking of that ex while you are having sex. Even worse, don’t bring the ex girlfriend in the bedroom either. Your sex life will be done, and so will your relationship
Make sure you thoroughly think of the consequences of your actions. If your partner is not comfortable with your suggestions, then don’t try to force the idea. You know your partner, so don’t even begin the conversation by pushing the line by suggesting something you know will never happen. Just remember, every action has a consequence, and you want experimentation in the bedroom to solidify your relationship, not end it.